One of the perks of my job is 3 weeks of vacation time a year. I took a week in January for my cousin's wedding, so I'm already down to 2 weeks. I'm waffling on what to do with the rest of my time off.
Should I take a few extra long weekends over the summer? Should I go home to the parents for a week? Should I spend time puttering around my apartment?
I know full well that I could easily pass a week just relaxing, watching some Netflix, working on my 50 book pledge and lots of other quietly fun activities, with perhaps a night or two of drinking myself silly in front of my friends. I'd definitely enjoy it, then go back to work being pretty happy with all that I didn't accomplish in my time off. I could be OK with that.
Except that part of me that is feeling antsy. The part of me that worries about time slipping by and missing out on opportunities, and not doing what I really want to with my life.
What do I really want to do on my vacation? I wanna go on a roadtrip!
I've always loved the idea of just getting in to the car and driving. Destination Anywhere.* There are so many places I haven't seen, where I haven't been and where I would like to go. When else am I going to have the chance to just go without having anything holding me back?**
Except that there always is a little something that does hold you back, and here's the rub. Not having anything holding me back means that this roadtrip may only include me. Just me. Alone. On the open road. Hmm.
Do I really want to go roadtripping alone? I have a pretty active imagination and am pretty good at imagining the worst case scenario.
Here are a few horrible things that could happen if I take off driving all by my lonesome to uncharted territories:
- car breaks down in middle of nowhere; eaten by cannibals
- car breaks down in middle of nowhere; raped, murdered and cut up into tiny pieces
- take a wrong turn and end up in a situation like that movie "Wrong Turn"; I don't even think I've seen that movie, but I bet it doesn't end well
- spend the night in a motel that ends up being like some kind of Hotel California-like setting where I can't leave; stuck in time limbo
- end up being too weirded out by doing things alone that I end up driving past places I'd really like to visit without stopping
It's a toss up which of those scenarios could happen at any given moment I'm roadtripping alone. Well, really which one of those scenarios could happen at basically any time ever, but I try not to go there - it's about the positivity people!
This probably sounds a little bit sad, but that's really not the point that I'm trying to convey. I actually have quite a few friends, hopefully this isn't shocking news, but they are all equally busy (if not busier) living their own lives. Most of them are married, a lot of them have kids, some of them live far away, etc..
After last week's concert debacle, it has come to my attention again that I need to stop letting myself almost be dissuaded from doing something that I love just because I might have to do it alone. I don't want to be a person who looks back and has a lot of regrets. I already have a handful of them that I wish I could take back, and I don't want to add to that pile.
Granted, going to a concert alone (which I didn't end up having to do thanks to @livingituplaura) is not the same as going on a road trip alone, but the principle of the idea is.
So I'm going to spend a few weeks weighing my options to see how realistic my desire is (it almost always comes down to the money) and deciding if I'm fully committed to the idea. Of course, I'm open to people joining me, I just don't think it's likely that anyone else I know would be very interested in the idea. I'd also rather spend my time thinking, reading and planning over trying to convince someone to join me.
So, which direction am I thinking of heading off towards? Which point will be the goal of the drive, where I'll have to reconcile the fact I can't just drive forever and have to turn around to head back home? The general directions I'm weighing would lead to Chicago, NYC/New Jersey, Boston or Nashville, with plenty of stops and roundabout adventures on the way.***
Because you know friends, it isn't about the destination, it's about the journey.
Until next time...****
* Name of a song from Jon Bon Jovi's solo album also named Destination
Anywhere. It will probably be my ring tone in due time.
** I had something witty to add here but it has escaped my memory
*** Of course, if I win the lottery beforehand I'll be high-tailing it straight across the country to drive from Vancouver to San Diego
**** Clearly I have been reading too many of @kidamy's blogposts - although I see how the multiple references and witty comments can get addicting
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